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 the quotes birds of a feather
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Written by: Perry Adleman and Melanie Williams

Hmm... I don't think so, Ivy.

Zack: "Where'd she go?"
Ivy: "Pigeons, huh? She used pigeons! Ugh! One of these days you will find out you are not as cleaver as you think you are, Carmen Sandiego!"

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The Player and Carmen.

Player: "Looks like someone pulled off the perfect crime at the Tower of London while you were off in Afghanistan."
Carmen: "Yes, makes me almost wish I could be in two places at once, Player. But no one can do that. Can they?"

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Someone tried to double-cross Carmen Sandiego?

Carmen: "No one double-crosses me!"
Ivy: "What is she doing up there?"
Zack: "I'd say she's bird watching."

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Zack nabs Ivy... so what else is new?

Ivy: "Nice going, Zack! You were supposed to catch Carmen in the net, not me."
Zack: "Sorry, heh, fishing is not my best sport."

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And I thought Zack was bad...

Chester "Ivy, don't look! This is going to be bad."
    [Chester covers Ivy's eyes]
Ivy: "Chester!"
    [Hovercraft lands on a tree]
Ivy: "Don't anybody move."
Chester: "Look a Glock gull!"
Ivy: "Chester, don't!"
    [They fall to the ground]
Zack: "This day couldn't get any worse."
Ivy: "It could... and it did."

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The entire episode in one quote. A really long quote...

Zack: "We know the night Frank M. Poster broke out of jail he disguised himself as a member of the cleaners. And because he knew he'd never be able to get the diamond out past the royal guards, Frank simply loosened it from the setting and returned it to the display case. Then, when we arrived to investigate, a funny thing happened. I was buzzed by a raven."

Stu Pigeon: "So, you were buzzed. There's hundreds of ravens at the Tower of London."

Zack: "But at the Tower of London all the ravens have their wings clipped so they can't fly away, Stu."

Ivy: "You mean that raven in the jewel house wasn't one of the ones who lives there?"

Zack: "And look, there are two names on this cage but only one raven. I say Frank snuck Stu's other raven in and left it behind to steal the diamond for Carmen."

Chester: "Wow, you are good."

Ivy: "But Zack, if you're right and Carmen planned the whole thing, why was she thousands of miles away in Afghanistan getting that lamp?"

Zack: "Because being thousands of miles away was the perfect alibi for her almost perfect crime, Ivy."

Chester: "Hmm, excuse me, but if the raven stole the diamond does Carmen have it now?"

Ivy: "Wait! Back in Scotland, Carmen said something about being double crossed."

Zack: "She was waiting for the raven to show up, but it never did because Stu here had his bird double cross her."

Ivy: "That diamond would be a real nice nest egg for a crook like you when you get paroled next week, eh Stu?"

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Real good thinking...

Ivy: "Well, if she wants the diamond she'll have to go to jail to get it."
Carmen: "Good thinking, Ivy. But as they say, 'a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.'"

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Pretty, shinny... magnifier?

Carmen: "Thanks for helping pull off the perfect crime, detectives."
Chester: "She did it! She planned the perfect crime and got away with the Star of Africa!"
Ivy: "Not quite, Chester. We foiled the perfect crime. She got away with my lucky magnifier."

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The Player and Carmen

Player: "A perfect crime like a perfect diamond isn't supposed to have any flaws, Carmen."
Carmen: "Touché, Player. But if I were already perfect, I'd have nothing to strive for. See you next crime."

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until next crime
last tweaked: 1-14-00