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THE TIGRESS
Written by: Mark L. Hoffmeier


Carmen baffled. Wow!

Carmen: "Huh? Napoleon's army pieces gone? But who...?"

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Carmen runs into a little competition, a thief named the Tigress.

Carmen: "Who are you?"

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The Tigress escapes

Carmen: "No one outmaneuvers Carmen Sandiego."

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Carmen and the Player.

Player: "Looks like you have some clever competition, Carmen"
Carmen: "Well, a certain philosopher once said, 'Competition can make you stronger,' Player."
Player: "Which philosopher said that?"
Carmen: "Me."

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Carmen seems a little upset over her new rival.

Ivy: "Look, it's Carmen!"
Carmen: "Sorry to telnet in unannounced, but I didn't steal Napoleon's files and map pieces last night."
Ivy: "Oh? Then who did?"
Carmen: "It's all over the French newspapers. Someone calling herself the Tigress beat me to them."
Ivy: "So, maybe you should retire, huh, Carmen?"
Carmen: "Maybe you should have this Tigress character arrested. And if you can't Ivy, maybe I will."

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Carmen has hacked into Acme's computer system.

Zack: "How did you steal our telnet passwords?"
Carmen: "I'll be monitoring CrimeNet 24 hours a day, Zack. I wanna know what you're doing to put this new amateur out of business. Meanwhile, I've left a real stinker of a clue for you in Paris for our little game. Au revoir."

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Carmen beat to the crime, again.

Carmen: "What? She did it to me again! "Too late. While Carmen's away, the cat will play. The Tigress." Find her. Search the area."
Ivy: "Something wrong, Carmen?"
Carmen: "Obviously. You two haven't stopped the Tigress yet."
Zack: "First things first, Carmen. You're Acme's top priority."

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Taking the matter into her own hands.

Carmen: "I gave you a chance, Zack and Ivy. Now I see I have to deal with the Tigress myself."

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After escaping the henchmen, who run into a lot of apples.

Zack: "Looks like an apple a day keeps Carmen's henchmen away."
Ivy: "Cute Zack, very cute."

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Carmen steals the sword, or does she?

Carmen: [chuckles] "Not this time, Tigress. The prize is mine."
Tigress: "What's wrong Carmen? Cat got your tongue? Looks like you missed me."
Carmen: "Looks like you missed the point."

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The Tigress gets away.

Carmen: [gasp]
Tigress: "And it looks like you've met your match."

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The Tigress leaves Carmen a clue.

Carmen: "'This tiger lives in a place for the Byrds-especially those dressed formally.' Hmm...birds spelled b-y-r-d. Of course. Admiral Byrd. The first man to fly over the South Pole, and the birds in the South Pole who appear to dress formally are penguins. Not very clever, Tigress."
Zack: "Nice night for an arrest, Carmen."
Carmen: "You had your chance, Zack. This is strictly between me and the Tigress now, and I'm keeping her clue all to myself."

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Carmen escapes, but the detectives do not seem that worried.

Chief: "Did she leave a clue?"
Ivy: "No clue, Chief. And it looks like she's given up on our case."
Zack: "All she cares about is a face-off with that Tigress person."
Chief: "Oh! So close and yet...so what? What are we going to do now?"
Ivy: "I guess we just let her do what she's got to do."

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Carmen confronts the Tigress.

Carmen: "So, we meet face to face."
Tigress: "It's 32 below out there, Carmen. Why don't you come in where we can get acquainted. The victor and the vanquished, eh Carmen?"
Carmen: "You haven't beaten me yet, Tigress."
Zack: "That's where you're wrong."
Carmen: "How did you know I was coming here? I never gave you the Tigress' clue."
Tigress/Ivy: "You didn't have to...we made it up."
Carmen: "You? You're the Tigress!?"

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How did they fool Carmen?

Carmen: "Bravo, detectives. I always knew you were good but you've outdone yourselves this time."
Zack: "Well, you gave us the idea, back when you started stealing items that had to do with great strategies and strategists."
Ivy: "Luckily, we broke all your clues in record time and got to the scenes of the crime before you."
Zack: "Then we put the items you were after in protective custody."
Ivy: "And I made sure you saw the Tigress leaving the scene."
Zack: "Hey, check it out Chief. I made these carbon dioxide powered booster boots. Just push this trigger and instant Michael Jordan. Cool, huh?"

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Carmen Sandiego is caught.

Carmen: "Why the South Pole for our rendezvous, detectives?"
Ivy "You always have some escape up your sleeve, Carmen. So we baited you into the middle of the most desolate place on Earth, Antarctica."
Zack: "Ha ha! Except we brought a few friends along, so you wouldn't get lonely."
Ivy: "The perfect strategy has just put you behind bars."

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Don't be so sure...

Ivy: "Well, li'l bro, we finally did it. We captured the great Carmen Sandiego."
Zack: "Yeah, with a little help from the Tigress and our greatest strategic plan ever."

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Oh, I love this one.

Carmen: "Congratulations, detectives. But you made one strategic mistake."
Ivy: "Oh yeah? And what would that be, Carmen?"
Carmen: "Never let the enemy know your secrets."

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Ivy reads Carmen's parting note.

Ivy: "When it comes to the strategy of winning detectives, a tie or split decision simply won't do."
Zack: "Argh! We had her Ivy! I can't believe it! We had her and she got away again! We did everything right and still she found a way!"

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I just love this one too.

Player: "Carmen, you outdid yourself."
Carmen: "That's the best reason to get up in the morning, Player...to do it better than you've ever done it before."
Player: "And if you haven't done it better by night time?"
Carmen: "Look at your globe. Pick a spot. It's always morning somewhere."

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until next crime
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last tweaked: 1-14-00