the quotes the play's the thing
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THE PLAY'S THE THING
Written by: Richard Merwin and Sean Roche


Ahem... that's Carmen.

Carmen: "Anything else, detectives?"
Ivy: "No thanks."
Zack: "Great burgers."

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I wanna hire her for all my party needs.

Ivy: "Zack, the bill! Carmen Sandiego was the caterer!"
Zack: "No way we're leaving a tip then."

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Lilly stops Carmen.

Ivy: "Carmen's stealing the Hollywood sign?"
Zack: "Whoa! That Lilly is awesome!"
Lilly Marlane: "Nobody upstages Lilly Marlane. Nobody."

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The Player and Carmen.

Carmen: "The key to good acting is 'mystery'. And I had your detectives fooled, Player"
Player: "Yeah, but the real star is the one who steals the show, Carmen. And this time, it wasn't you."
Carmen: "We'll see about that when the final curtain falls."

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A sign...

Zack: "Ivy, Lilly Marlane is the greatest actress alive. End of discussion."
Ivy: "So, become her agent and give it a rest, Zack."
Zack: "Well, who do you say is the world's best actress then?"
Ivy: "Carmen Sandiego?"
Zack: "No way. Maybe Carmen's got great cheekbones but..."
Ivy: "No, Zack. Carmen Sandiego!"

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Ivy reads the billboard.

Ivy: "See Carmen Sandiego in her next theft... 'With Goodly Eyes' ?"

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Hmm... I think so....

Zack: "Looks like Carmen's been bitten by the showbiz bug. Everything seems to be about actors and stuff, Ivy."

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At the Cairo Museum.

Ivy: "Hold it right there, Carmen!"
Carmen: "Glad to see you could make my opening night, detectives."

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Carmen flees Cairo.

Zack: "Ivy, she's on a motorcycle. What are we supposed to do with these?"
Ivy: "They're bikes. You paddle."

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Ivy saves them in Japan.

Zack: "Ivy! Think of something! Quick!"
Ivy: "I go high, you go low."
Zack: "Ah, I hate this part."

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A Carmen commercial.

Director: "Scene: Carmen Sandiego spot announcement. Take: one."
Zack: "Carmen's taken over our transmitting frequency."
Carmen: "I only need one take. Uh-hmm. Come see Carmen Sandiego in her greatest theft ever. It's only two fins so don't miss it, detectives."

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That's not Lilly!

Ivy: "Lilly Marlane?"
Carmen: "Give me back my mask!"
Ivy: "But how?"
Carmen: "This is the last time I do a show on the road."

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Stealing the opera house.

Zack: "She won't be satisfied until she reveals who she really is and gets the applause for her little stunt."
Carmen: "Now, to show them all that being the world's greatest thief sometimes takes being the world's greatest actress."

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Carmen is getting away!

Ivy: "Not so fast, Carmen!"
Carmen: "I invited you to see the performance of a lifetime, not take part in it."

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Carmen and the Player.

Player: "My detectives beat you our to your big moment, huh, Carmen?"
Carmen: "Don't get too cocky, Player. And next time, I'll steal more than the show."

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until next crime
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last tweaked: 1-14-00